It’s been a while since I last updated my blog, so I thought I’d just let y’all know what I’ve been up to, and maybe put in some random musings. I love this font, by the way. It’s called “Georgia,” so it reminds me of home. Whatever it takes, I suppose.
I’ve been rather busy lately, what with harp and piano practice, school, college English, trying to exercise (shocking, I know), and babysitting once or twice (sometimes more) a week. I’ve also found out new things about myself, and have tried out different ways of thinking.
For example, I recently realized my tendency to doubt my memory—I’ve always done this, but lately it’s becoming more of a problem. I do a school assignment, but an hour or so later I suddenly wonder “Did I really do my homework, or did I just think I did?” and I have to go back and make sure. It sounds funny, but it could get dangerous. The other day I took some ibuprofen (I always take three or four at a time), and ten minutes later I wasn’t sure if I had really taken any or not, so I had to ask my brother. I was fortunate that he remembered, otherwise I would have taken a few more. My dad assures me that when I doubt myself, there’s a 99% chance that I actually did what I’m wondering if I did, but the anxiety is still there.
As for trying out new ways of thinking, I’ve lately started thinking about why people do the things they do. Instead of just thinking “That jerk!” when the guy drove buy me while I was walking home and yelled an obscene suggestion at me, I started thinking about what would influence a person to do that. Instead of losing my temper or getting offended, I rationalized that he was just a pathetic little man trying to feel macho. Maybe I should have gotten offended, but if I got mad every time a guy said or did something inappropriate towards me I’d be almost perpetually angry. Not really a way I want to live my life.
Music has been my escape from the stress of day to day living. Music is almost a separate entity to me, living inside of me, continually swirling and dancing and singing. Playing an instrument is my way of releasing that passion—I often lose myself in the music. So much so that I don’t even notice the phone ringing, or even completely lose track of time. Simply listening to music (usually classical—my favorites are Beethoven and Tchaikovsky) has been known to move me to tears.
I’ve been missing my home a lot lately. I always miss it, but I go through stages where sometimes I miss it more and sometimes I miss it a bit less. I miss everything about it. The cotton fields, Southern voices and mannerisms, the smell of the Flowers bakery, the old-fashioned feel of downtown Thomasville, everything. I miss it so much that I’ve had several dreams about going back home in the past month alone.
On a positive note, being a babysitter is a real joy—even if I don’t earn much money from it. There’s just so much one can learn from being with small children on a regular basis. Not the least of which are patience and endurance! You haven’t known stress until you are looking after two crabby toddlers, both alternating between crankiness and extreme clinginess. I never knew small children could get so loud, or be so heavy.
The perks outweigh the pitfalls, though, at least for me. Just a couple weeks ago, the four year old girl didn’t want to eat her snack, so she instigated a chase—we ran all over the house, and every time I caught her I got to tickle her mercilessly and she had to eat a bit of her snack. The week before that I got to sing the one year old to sleep. You haven’t experienced life until you’ve had a small child fall asleep in your arms. I also love the way the one year old wraps her arms around my knees when I ask her for a hug, and the way the four year old thinks she’s scaring me when she randomly yells “BOO!”
All that to say, all y’all who think that all little kids are little terrors all the time, y’all are wrong. On the flip side, all y’all who think that little kids are so adorable 24/7 are wrong too. Just felt like throwing that out there.
And, finally…I’m fixin’ to turn 18 next month! We’re going to the beach to celebrate! Though I figure might should blog about that another time. This is probably the longest post I’ve ever written!
No comments:
Post a Comment