Monday, October 11, 2010

Feminism

Feminist. It can be a divisive word, depending on the circles you run in. Coming from a conservative background, I am used to the word feminist being used as an insult meaning "man-hater." Ultra-conservatives tend to use it to insult women who have the audacity to believe that women are equal to men. Yet others wear the name as a badge of pride. So what exactly is feminism? Perhaps there's no real answer; perhaps it depends on the woman.

For me, feminism in it's truest form is what feminists like Susan B. Anthony and Lucy Stone fought for--the right not to be discriminated against because of gender, the right to make their own choices, and the right not to be owned by a man. Many women still struggle with that. Society says that if you're a young and pretty woman, then heaven forbid if you have any brains. To many ultra-conservative men, a wife is nothing more than a servant who'll make babies and sew for him. I was exposed to this belief system for three years, but instead of allowing them to twist my mind into bowing to those beliefs, I came out a stronger person. A feminist, though perhaps more conservative than your average modern feminist.

I recently had an argument with my mother about feminism. We had just watched the movie Mona Lisa Smile (about a feminist teacher in the 50s trying to teach her female students that marriage and babies don't have to be their only goal in life), and I absolutely loved it. I was effusive in my praise for that movie. We argued about whether or not you can be conservative and feminist at the same time. I said yes, she said no. Sadly, a common misconception about feminists is that being a feminist means that you have to support abortion, promiscuity, and sexism against men. Sorry, but that's just not true. I'm pro-life, a virgin, am far from a man-hater, and yet I consider myself a feminist. The awesome thing about feminism is, you don't have to follow stereotypes. A stay at home mom can be just as feminist as a career-oriented woman, as long as it was solely her decision to be the stay at home mom/career-oriented woman.

My views on feminism influences my life in many positive ways. Regarding marriage, I intend to keep my own last name instead of taking my husband's if I ever marry, and I have no intention of vowing to "obey" him. I'm my own person and deserve to keep my own name, and my husband would be my equal, so why should I obey him? Another way feminism has influenced me positively is in my self-esteem. I am a self-sufficient young woman, and I'm completely happy that way. I exercise and take care of my body, not to please others, but to get more satisfaction out of my own life. Feminism. What do you think of the word now?

2 comments:

  1. Preach it, sister. Sorry couldn't resist! I agree with you! I don't have to burn my bra in order to say that I am an independent woman because all that does is leave me braless. ;) ( hehehehe -NCIS quote popped into my head)

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  2. Ziva: I am braless.
    Tony: I noticed that, but on your phone they're called bars.

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